Rock Bottom Read online

  Rock Bottom

  Emily Goodwin

  Rock Bottom

  A Dawson Family Novel

  Copyright 2020

  Emily Goodwin

  Cover photography by Sara Eirew

  Editing by Contagious Edits

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  * * *

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events or places is purely coincidental.

  Created with Vellum

  To Ashley. This one is just for you.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Epilogue

  Thank you

  About the Author

  Also by Emily Goodwin

  Chapter 1

  Dean

  Then…

  “Where’s Kara?”

  I knew the question was coming, yet Mom’s words still cut through me, making me pause in my step as I move toward the fridge to get a beer that I desperately need.

  “At home. She’s exhausted from staying up late working on homework.”

  I hate that the lie rolls off my tongue so easily. It’s not hard to believe my wife is actually at home resting after pulling an all-nighter working on her master’s degree in education. In truth, we got into an argument over Sunday night dinner at my parents’ house.

  But that was only part of the issue.

  “Poor dear,” Mom says and grabs a Tupperware container from under the cabinet and thrusts it at me. “Don’t forget to get her a plate to go.”

  I smile, forcing the pain away, and thank Mom. Setting the Tupperware on the counter, I open the fridge, get out two beers, and go through the kitchen to the backyard.

  “Help me up,” my sister says as soon as I step onto the patio. “I have to pee.”

  Laughing, I set the beers down and extend a hand. Quinn takes it and dramatically groans as she hefts herself to her feet.

  “You look like you’re about ready to pop,” I tell her.

  “I feel like it.” She rests both hands on her stomach. “I’m three days away from my due date and am dying.”

  “You’re the one who wanted to have another baby.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” She waves a hand in the air. “Save the speech for Archer.” She looks across the yard at Archer, her husband and my best friend, who’s pushing their two kids on the swing set. “I know how much you like being reminded that he’s the one who knocked me up.”

  “Gross, Quinn.”

  She laughs. “You make it easy. Now I see why Logan and Owen gave you so much shit when we were kids. I feel like I missed out by trying to be the peacemaker.”

  I let out a snort of laugher. “You, the peacemaker?”

  “Yeah. I was. And still am.”

  “If you say so.” I grab my beer and pop the top. “But that’s not how I remember it.”

  “And how do you remember it?” Quinn rubs her belly and makes a face. “Stop kicking my ribs, baby. That doesn’t feel good.”

  “I was the peacemaker and basically the middle child. I’m between two extremes. There’s Weston, who was always a rule follower and incredibly boring, and Logan and Owen, who are, well…Logan and Owen.”

  Quinn laughs. “What does that make me?”

  “You were the little princess of the family,” I remind her, laughing as well. “You could do no wrong.”

  She just rolls her eyes. “I really have to pee now.”

  I grab the other beer as she slowly makes her way into the house and walk across the yard.

  “Uncle Dean!” Emma squeals, reaching her arms out. I smile at my niece and feel the rest of my anger start to melt away.

  “Hey, Squirt!”

  “Will you play chase with me?” she asks, madly kicking her feet to try and get the swing to stop.

  “Hey,” Archer says to me, grabbing the back of the swing to slow Emma down. “You ready to lose again tonight?”

  “Psshh, you wish,” I laugh. “You’ll be on?” Archer has been my best friend since college, and while it was weird for a bit when he started dating my sister, he’s part of the family for real now and things couldn’t be better.

  Except…they could be.

  “Yeah,” he says, and sets Emma down. She takes my hand and starts pulling me toward the slide. “But don’t let me stay up too late,” he laughs. “The baby will be here any day now and we won’t get much sleep.” He goes back to Arya, who cries as soon as she sees her sister climbing up the steps to go down the slide.

  “You ready for another?” I hold out my hand, spotting Emma as she climbs.

  “We already have two. What’s one more?”

  I laugh. “So you’re all set?”

  “As much as we can be. But the cats have been sleeping in the crib.”

  “Your kids are all damned to be crazy cat ladies like Quinn.”

  “Probably.” He gets Arya out of the swing and she stops crying right away. “Though my money is on this one being a boy. Quinn had really bad morning sickness with both girls and it hasn’t been that bad this time around. And she says the curse was broken after Paige was born.” Archer makes a face. “Something about the balance of girls and boys being equal in the Dawson family,” he chuckles. “It’s crazy but makes sense at the same time.”

  “What was your boy name again?” I ask causally.

  “Hah. Nice try. Quinn would kill me if I told anyone. Even you.”

  “It’s Dean, isn’t it?”

  Archer laughs. “I can tell you it’s not, at least. And I know it was my idea to wait to find out what we’re having, but it’s driving me crazy now.”

  “Everyone is going crazy not knowing.” I move to the bottom of the slide to catch Emma when she comes down. We hang outside with the kids for a little while longer and then Mom calls us in for dinner.

  Wes and Scarlet just arrived, with their kids Jackson and Violet. Logan and Danielle come in right after them, and Logan is holding their six-month-old, who somehow managed to stay asleep through all the chaos of kids talking and dogs barking.

  “Can we start eating?” Quinn asks, sitting on a barstool at the large island counter. “I’m starving.”

  “Owen and Charlie aren’t here yet,” Dad says. “Not that we’re surprised.”

  Mom gives Dad a pointed look. “They’ll be here. Charlie won’t let Owen be too late.”

  “They’re a mile away,” Logan tells us, sitting next to Quinn.

  “Can you sen
se it?” Quinn asks. “Like a twin thing?”

  “No,” Logan says and cocks an eyebrow. “I never took the tracking app off Owen’s phone.” He shrugs. “Never know where he’ll end up.”

  “Logan,” Mom scolds but we all laugh.

  “Why don’t you get your plate started?” Mom hands Quinn a plate and Quinn turns, holding the plate out to Archer. He takes it with a smile and gives her a kiss before going around to the stove, getting her plate ready for her.

  “How’s the progress on the Robocop?” Wes asks Quinn, straight-faced.

  “We’re still working out a few flaws and trying to find material strong enough to protect the hard drive from fire.”

  “Ha-ha,” I say dryly. “I’m not falling for it this time.”

  “It’s real,” Quinn presses.

  “Just like the Batmobile,” I scoff.

  “I’ve seen the prototype,” Wes goes on. “It is real. I’ll admit the Batmobile wasn’t, though even Jackson knew we were making it up.”

  I finish my beer and just shake my head. A few months ago, Quinn told us she was working on inventing some sort of robot that will help put out fires, going into places too dangerous for firefighters.

  I didn’t buy it then, and I’m not buying it now.

  Though, it is a cool concept.

  Quinn goes on and on about it, getting way too excited about the details of how she’s coding the software—details that are lost on all of us—until Owen and Charlie show up.

  Then it’s pure chaos again as everyone gets their plates and crams around the dining room table. I look around, feeling a tug on my heart that I’ve been ignoring for years.

  Paige wakes up and starts to fuss. “I’ll get her bottle,” Logan says and stands. He gives the baby to our mother instead of Danielle and slowly walks into the kitchen.

  Mom immediately starts baby-talking to her, and Dad leans over, holding out his hand for Paige to grab.

  “Sister?” Dad mumbles, brows furrowing. Logan comes back into the dining room, standing behind Danielle’s chair. “What does her shirt say?”

  Mom holds the baby out, with her back to the rest of us. “Big sis—oh my gosh! You’re pregnant!”

  Danielle beams, reaching up to take Logan’s hand. “I am!”

  The entire table breaks out in happy cheers, and I congratulate them with a smile on my face. My first thought is to call Kara and tell her, and then I get irritated all over again that she refused to come to dinner with me tonight.

  “Finally,” Charlie laughs. “I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to keep that a secret anymore.”

  “You knew?” Mom looks from her to Logan with wide eyes, giving him a silent why didn’t you tell me first look.

  Danielle laughs, looking up at Logan again. “I told her before I told him.”

  “I didn’t find out until the next morning,” Logan goes on, smiling as he looks down at his wife. “She fell asleep before I came home from work.”

  “We were both asleep,” Charlie laughs. “I went over for dinner and passed out on the couch.”

  “I came home to an empty house,” Owen deadpans, slowly shaking his head.

  “There’s nothing like pregnancy to suck the life right out of you,” Quinn says. Then she gasps and looks at Scarlet. “You only have a few days to get knocked up so we can all be pregnant together.”

  “Nope,” Wes and Scarlet say at the same time, and Wes puts his arm around Scarlet. “Two are plenty for us.”

  “And I’m older than you all,” Scarlet reminds Quinn, who waves her hand in the air.

  “Not by much.”

  “Anyway, Wes is going to get—” Scarlet holds up her fingers and makes a cutting motion. “We just made the appointment.”

  “Which doctor?” Archer asks, all too interested. Wes just gives him a look and shakes his head. Happy chatter breaks out across the table, and that tug on my heart I’ve been ignoring reaches out and yanks that fucker right out of my chest.

  I turn, looking into the kitchen at my phone which I left on the counter. The angry words Kara and I exchanged before I left still burn on my tongue, and a sour feel starts to bubble in my stomach.

  I turn back just in time to see Logan take Paige back from Mom and sit back down next to Danielle, who leans in for a kiss. Reaching for my beer, I lean back and look around the table at my family—my happy family—and I can’t deny it anymore.

  I want this, and it’s what’s been the source of why Kara and I have argued so much the last few months.

  I want this, and she doesn’t.

  I can’t understand how she doesn’t, but maybe she can’t understand how I do. Maybe I was too hard on her. Not understanding enough. Didn’t explain myself well enough.

  Things have been rocky between us, but she’s my wife and I love her. We were happy once, can’t we be happy again?

  I down the rest of my beer, trying not to acknowledge something else I’ve been ignoring. No one wants to admit they’ve been falling out of love, and the pain builds slowly. You don’t notice it at first, and then one day, you wake up under the crushing weight of a broken heart.

  I don’t want us to get to that point.

  Though part of me thinks we already are.

  And now that I want a family and Kara doesn’t…it doesn’t help.

  When we got married, we had plans to travel, to see the world, to live it up as best we could. Having kids wasn’t part of that plan. I didn’t want kids for a good while. In three years…five years…hell, even seven years, then maybe we’d think about it.

  But we’ve been married for a while now and haven’t traveled as we imagined. Haven’t lived it up. Though does anything go according to plan?

  “Dean,” Quinn calls, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  “Yeah?”

  “Scarlet, Jamie, and I are going to see a movie tomorrow? Can you ask Kara if she wants to join?”

  “Yeah,” I tell her, though I have a feeling Kara will decline her invitation. She told me it feels weird to hang out with Quinn and Scarlet since they’ve become so close. When I tell her she could become close to them if she actually accepted their invites every now and then, she gets mad at me.

  And I get mad right back.

  Arya starts to fuss, wiggling around in the highchair. She throws her bowl of mashed potatoes on the floor and all four dogs swarm around her, pushing each other out of the way to lick up the mess. Quinn starts to stand but Archer stops her, telling her to take it easy and he’ll handle their toddler.

  “Thank you,” Quinn says softly, looking at Archer the say way she looked at him on their wedding day.

  It hits me then that while I get pissed at Kara, I’m not without my faults. She does stuff that irritates the shit out of me, but I do the same to her. We’re dangerously walking the line of falling completely out of love, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen.

  “You’re leaving already?” Dad pulls a cheesecake out of the fridge.

  “Yeah. I’m going to bring Kara her dinner and force her to take the night off from studying.”

  “She’s almost done with her class, isn’t she?” Dad sets the cheesecake on the counter and gets out another Tupperware to get me a few pieces to take home.

  “Yes, thankfully. It’s been a hectic last few years.”

  “It has been. We miss seeing her around here.”

  I nod, agreeing with him. “I think I’m going to surprise her by booking a vacation over her winter break. Going somewhere warm would be nice.”

  “Winter is a good time to go on vacation,” Dad notes, talking about work and not the weather. Dad worked his way up from a carpenter to starting and owning his own construction and contracting business, and I work with him. I’ll take over the family business when he retires. We slow down a bit in the winter, not able to do much exterior work when it’s bitterly cold. Though we already have a full lineup of new houses set to go up in the spring.

  “Ohhhh, that’s so sweet,” Qu
inn says, having overheard me talking to Dad. “We can’t wait until we can go on a vacation again.”

  “Didn’t you just go to Disney World?” I ask her.

  “It was months ago.” She pats her stomach. “And I couldn’t go on the good rides.”

  “And aren’t you going again in like six months with Archer’s parents?”

  “Yes.”

  I laugh. “That’s not that far to wait, sis.”

  “It feels like forever,” she laughs. “Text me later and let me know if Kara wants to come with us. I’m going to buy the tickets online tonight so we can get good seats. Preferably at the end of the aisle since this baby is fifteen pounds and sitting on my bladder.”

  “That baby weighed six pounds at the last scan,” Archer quips, coming into the kitchen to refill Emma’s water cup.

  Quinn rolls her eyes. “Always such a doctor.”

  “I can’t let you forget,” Archer tells her matter-of-factly. “You’re leaving?” he asks, seeing the to-go containers in my hands.

  “Yeah. Kara’s been working hard and is probably hungry.”

  Quinn, who’s annoyingly perceptive, narrows her eyes and opens her mouth to question me, but the baby kicks her hard again and she winces. Thank you, little guy, for having my back. I grab the cheesecake and say a quick goodbye to the rest of my family and then head out.

  I pick up my phone once I’m in my truck, set on calling Kara to tell her I’m on my way home. I drop it on the passenger seat, thinking it’ll be better to surprise her with the food, an apology, and a vow that from this day forward, I’m going to try harder.